Friday 26 November 2010

#79: Godforsaken Stomach Bug

20 guests go down with it,
the Queen goes down with it,
live during her speech, a frown,
a quiver, then huey
splattering over the lectern
in a viscous ochre cascade,
every dog goes down with it,
poor mites, but they recover
to a hound, full of appetite
and scoffing chow like never before,
a sixth form in the Greater Manchester area goes down with it,
(they later produce a play which features
on the local news, called 'The Bug',
an allegorical tale with an obvious debt
to Eugene Ionesco's Rhinoceros)
Lord Sugar goes down with it
and dies,
prompting tributes,
Howard goes down with it,
experiences a sextet of sink-clenching bowl evacuations,
phones his mum afterwards
and tells her he's okay.

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